Mentorship is one of the most valuable parts of medical training. A great mentor can open doors, challenge you to grow, and help shape your career in ways you may not even realize at the time. But mentorship is not a passive relationship. Being a good mentee matters, too.
I recently attended the 2026 YoungMD Connect (YMDC) Live meeting in Austin, where I had the opportunity to learn from experienced faculty and mentors in ophthalmology. In one panel session, Program Chairs Julie Schallhorn, MD, MS; Arsham Sheybani, MD; Jay Sridhar, MD; and Blake Williamson, MD, MPH, MS, shared candid insights about what makes a mentorship thrive and what unintentionally makes it difficult.
This article reviews some of the biggest takeaways for medical students, residents, and fellows looking to build meaningful mentoring relationships.
1. BE AUTHENTIC AND RESPECTFUL
One panelist emphasized that the best mentees are those who are authentic. They are respectful, professional, and understand that mentorship is still a professional relationship. This means avoiding becoming overly familiar with your mentor too quickly and respecting communication boundaries. Multiple emails in a single day or late-night texts may not help you stand out in the way you intended.
Instead, maintain a thoughtful, professional communication style.
- Be courteous;
- Respect your mentor’s time;
- Match their preferred communication style; and
- Keep messages concise and purposeful.
A short update that clearly explains your progress is often far more effective than a long email that buries the main point.
2. LEARN THE ‘SENSE OF THE MOMENT’
One of the most memorable points from the discussion was the emphasis on having a “sense of the moment.” In ophthalmology and medicine in general, timing matters. There are moments to ask questions and moments to quietly observe. Interrupting a critical surgical step or a sensitive patient interaction is probably not the best time to ask a teaching question. This awareness develops over time, but strong mentees actively work on it, the panelists advised. They learn to read the room, recognize workflow, and understand when feedback or discussion will be most productive.
3. TAKE INITIATIVE
Several panelists agreed that the strongest mentees are self-starters.
Good mentees do not wait to be told every next step. Instead, they:
- Think independently;
- Identify problems proactively;
- Attempt solutions before escalating questions; and
- Come prepared with ideas.
One mentor described the ideal interaction as, “I thought about this and decided to do A, B, and C. Does that sound OK?” as opposed to, “Tell me exactly what to do next.” Mentors want to guide motivated learners, not micromanage every step.
4. COMMUNICATE PROGRESS
Mentors appreciate follow-through. If they helped you start a project, they want to know how things are going. Simple updates can go a long way, such as:
- “I finished the data collection.”
- “I’m working on the next draft.”
- “I hit this obstacle, and here’s how I’m managing it.”
These updates demonstrate accountability, initiative, and organization.
5. KEEP YOUR WRITING CONCISE
Whether you are sending emails, abstracts, or manuscript drafts, clarity matters. One panelist joked that, if a mentor is left with a 20-page draft that must be cut down to 3,000 words, they may end up finding someone else to take over the project. The lesson: Being concise and to the point is part of professionalism. Strong mentees aim to be clear, organized, succinct, and easy to work with. Good communication makes collaboration smoother for everyone.
6. PREPARE AND RETAIN
Prepare for mentorship interactions like you would for a rotation. Ask about your mentor’s preferences. Do they prefer email or text? Do they like brief updates or scheduled meetings? How do they usually structure projects?
Then, if someone takes the time to teach you something, remember it. Repeatedly asking the same questions without applying prior feedback can become frustrating for mentors in research settings, clinics, and the OR.
7. MAINTAIN LONG-TERM CONNECTIONS
One of the most meaningful reflections came when the panel discussed former mentees who kept in touch years later. You do not need to be in constant communication. A quick update, a holiday card, or a message sharing a career milestone can mean a lot to someone who invested time in your growth. Mentorship is not only transactional; it is relational.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Being a good mentee is not about being perfect. It is about being proactive, respectful, communicative, and engaged in your own growth. The best mentoring relationships often feel collaborative. Mentors provide guidance and perspective, while mentees bring curiosity, initiative, and follow-through. Sometimes, the simplest advice may be the most important: Show up prepared, respect people’s time, and keep learning.
